I (Keri) also had the opportunity to hear Matt Townsend speak a month ago to a large group of women in my stake and region. I was again so touched by the wonderful perspective he shared with us. His words were just so simple and made sense with all that I believe. I remember thinking "how could I ever feel sad or mad again... especially at Matt who I get mad at the most". And of course, I fought with Matt for the next four days. What can I say, I'm human :) I do find that my days are a little easier, and my emotions a little easier to handle when I think about what is most important.
I wanted to pass on my notes from that meeting to all of you since I found them so moving:
The most important thing you need to remember is that you are daughters of a Heavenly Father. ( Now remember, he was speaking to a group of women. But this easily apply to men as well).
As women, we are so hard on ourselves and we try to do too much. But the list of things we feel like we are supposed to do are extracurricular. And many times they leave us feeling stressed, overwhelmed, angry, inadequate, guilt, depressed, discouraged and tired.
The things we stress about: money, in-laws, children, work, mess, men, school, callings, our bodies or our health are just extracurricular.
Daughters of God just need to stay close to Heavenly Father. He will prompt you when you should focus on one of those things. How can you feel angry...or sad... if you are a daughter of God?
And as a daughter of God, you are wired to be amazing!
Your spirit is your essence. It is what you are when you are close to your Heavenly Father. And it is what you should focus on.
Sin is anything that keeps us from God. It can even be good things, not necessarily bad.
He had us list perceptions that women hang on ourselves that make us feel not so amazing:
- your kids
- other women
- looks
- weight
- defects
- body shape
- wealth
- work
- your husband/boyfriend
- your upbringing
- marital status
- personality traits
- "your identity"
Your essence is what God gave you. And when you are in your essence, you can only feel love, compassion, prayer and peace.
All these perceptions above are just what the world gave you - these are your ego. These are Satan's game. It is your belief that you are something other than from God.
Our everyday battle is between our ego and our essence.
We need to notice the holy spirit in us and yield to it. What if we focused our time on our essence? He used the example of Alma the younger. "Can you feel the Spirit in you now?"
When you feel the Spirit, you know who you are. You are focused on the present.
Too often we focus too much on the future or the past. For example, "I'll be happy when we move...or when I'm married"
You never create the future in the future. You create it day by day in the present. You don't forgive in the past either. You forgive for the past in the present. Humor is in the present. Choose to live your life in your essence. The Lord most cares that you are in your essence - that you are close to Him.
He made a wonderful reminder that other people's mistakes are not your identity.
The key to all of this is to notice when you are in your ego. That will put you into your essence.
If you want to be in your essence, imagine your mother, son, friend, husband being called up to the Lord and being told how amazing he/she is.
Think about finding a lost child in the woods who is scared and cold. Think of how you would feel, what you would say to make that child feel better. You could only feel love for that child and peace that he/she was found. And one of the first things you would do is pray.
When you are in your essence, you naturally feel love, compassion, prayer and peace.
You are gold! He wants you home. He needs you to know how wonderful you are. And he needs you to tell people around you how wonderful they are.

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