Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Earth

Matt and I went to a relationship seminar at the Sandy Institute a couple months ago and we have not gotten around to blogging about it but we were entertained and impressed with the speaker, Matt Townsend. Matt T. is a local Radio and TV personality known as the "Communication and Relationship Expert". He also happens to be LDS and so FUNNY! And he has these "date nights" where he talks about how to have fun and strengthen your relationship.

These are our notes from this seminar:

• Differences between men and women and why God probably made them this way
• Men are monotaskers and probably because they are supposed to focus on protecting and providing. "Can you imagine a caveman trying to watch out for beasts while he's frying up eggs and doing laundry?"
• Women are nurturers and multi-taskers (possibly to prepare for having children). 
• Men have big egos because if they didn't, no one in their right mind would go up against large beasts. Because of their egos, they don't like to talk about embarrassing things, or ask for directions.
• Men bond in action, women talk to bond. Men talk to transfer data or to maintain hierarchy.
• Don't bring up something that might lower a man's hierarchy. Their mom was probably the last woman to have hierarchy over them, which is why they relate you to their mothers. 
• Men hold a gaze for an avg. of 3 seconds, women gold a gaze for 12 seconds. This makes them more attentive to be better nurturers.
• Women's brains go right to left quickly. Men like to sit in the left brain (makes them very literal). Men's brains are as slow as a 3-legged asthmatic donkey.
• Men don't understand why women talk about things we aren't trying to fix. Let men help you.

• We fight about the smoke in our relationships but we should really be fighting about these things:
• 7 Needs All Relationships Need to be Met

1. Safety (emotional, financial...)
2. Trust
3. Appreciation
4. Respect
5. Validation
6. Encouragement - be in their heart and help them become what they want to
7. Dedication - "If you want to feel like someone is dedicated to you, you have to feel like you are more important than any people, place or thing".

• He offered the following advice:
• When you can't talk anymore, serve each other.
• Don't mess with souls
• Beware of Facebook - see Matt T's 10 Rules of Facebook. You cannot have emotional affairs or you mess with souls. Read Elder Holland's talk "Souls, Symbols and Sacrament".
• Have cuddle time, go to bed together, be careful
• Be vulnerable - let your partner see you cry
• When you are fighting:
• Men - go think of what you or your wife will say to the Savior if he were right in front of you
• Women - go think of what your husband  will do when he sees your Savior
• If you can feel that now...that is what it would feel like to be the Savior - the love, the peace and the compassion.
• Write it down and go back to it when your partner upsets you.