Buttermints Dawg

Laura and I
After my third year at BYU, one of my roommates, Laura, and I decided to move to Las Vegas for a couple semesters and get jobs in the big hotels.

Having decided on a whim, we were not fully prepared. We moved down there with no furniture, enough money for just two months rent, and nothing but a confidence that we could get jobs right away.

Well it actually took us two months to get jobs. We had completely miscalculated our money situation. The summer heat came and we didn’t have enough money to pay for air conditioning. We didn't know anything about working with utility companies so we had no hot water for the first two weeks. To get a warm shower, we showered at the hot tub shower in our complex. At first we were embarrassed to do because most people don't go in the hot tub at 10 am and most don't lathering up with shampoo and conditioner and shave their your legs in a shower that is just meant for rinsing. Ironically after we got our utilities turned on, we discovered there was another shower inside the clubhouse in the women's bathroom that we could have used!

Our parents had discouraged our move, so we felt that we couldn’t ask them for assistance. We ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal because Laura’s mom ended up bringing us a few groceries. I couldn’t even afford medicine for tonsillitis I got my first week there. And Laura lost almost all of her shoes on the move to Vegas when the bag that her dad had tied on top of her car flew off and scattered her shoes all over the freeway.

Our lowest point came when we had to dig through the seats of our cars to find enough money to split a Del Taco burrito. 

Our first Sunday attending our new ward, we walked into the church building and saw the most glorious site: a huge bowl of buttermints which Laura and I loved! I cannot tell you how my heart leapt and my stomach yearned for such a treat. We looked at each other and yelled "buttermints dawg!" and opened our purses to start filling them with mints for later.

During our raid, I turned around to discover the doors to Sacrament meeting wide open and many people were looking at us. Apparently our excitement had interrupted the opening prayer. Unfortunately Laura caught on a bit later and when she saw me stop, she said "What are you doing? Keep going!"

Imagine my embarrassment, with my hand in the bowl shoveling mints into my purse. From then on, we were known as the “buttermint twins” by many. Not exactly the greatest first impression.

I'd like to say the silly stories end there but since it took us awhile to get hired, and then to actually receive paychecks, we had to get creative. We relied heavily on meeting people at our new singles ward for a lot in the beginning. 

If there was a fireside we were there - refreshments. If someone was having a potluck at their house, we were there. If one of us got asked on a date, we refused to go unless they found someone else for the other so we wouldn't be left alone or left without dinner. 

One guy heard this and asked us both on a date with him, which he later admitted was perfect because then he could figure out which one he was interested in. Seriously we went out to dinner several times, just Nate and Laura and I. 

Our favorite restaurant was Cheesecake Factory and when we got asked out by two roommates who said they wanted to take us somewhere we had never been, Laura lied and said "we've never been to Cheesecake Factory and we heard it was really good." We could have pulled it off except Laura made two crucial errors. 

While waiting to be seated, Laura announced that she needed to use the restroom and when her date stood up to walk her to the restroom, she waved him off and said "Oh I know where it is." At this point, my date whispered to me "I thought she had never been here." I confessed to him but asked him not to tell her date who was so excited to introduce her to restaurant. 

Then we got seated and Laura put her menu down and said "Oh I know what I want," which is when her date figured it out. After realizing we were bust, we explained how poor we were and how much we had been dying to eat here since we moved to Vegas.

We acquired a mattress set for free from a group of guys we met who had inherited the mattress when they moved into their house. We didn't even care who had slept on it before, that's how desperate we were. For months it was the only furniture we had in our apartment except for a small table and chair set that Laura's grandpa had given us.

One guy came over to our house to help us improve our resumes and saw that we had very little food in our cupboards. He ended up coming back the next day with groceries in hand. 

He also found out that my 21st birthday was coming up and he said he wanted to take Laura and I out to dinner and would invite a bunch of other guys too so we could get to know other people. We didn't eat all day we were so excited.

At dinner, the guy announced that he was paying for dinner for everyone and that we were welcome to order whatever we want, except for me. He said he was going to be responsible for me that night. My heart sank! I don't like being told what to do and the way that he announced it made me suspicious that this was not going to be the dinner I had expected.

True to my suspicions, he not only ordered my food but also served it to me on a small salad plate as if that is all that a lady needs to eat. I looked over longingly at Laura's giant salad and I thought I was going to cry! Laura saw what was happening, and knew how we hadn't eaten all day, immediately grabbed her salad plate and started dishing up some of her salad for me. Such a good friend! Saved my life! Okay not really, but it felt like it at the time.

After our meal, this guy announced again that everyone else could order dessert, but he had already ordered mine and once again I was given a tiny serving. Oh how much I love the male expectations of how much women should eat! I know I should have been more grateful but I felt like I was being treated like a five year old. Not exactly the most flattering feeling especially for a 21st birthday. 

After dinner we left the restaurant and were all waiting at the parking elevator, and this guy insisted that he and I would take the stairs and meet everyone at the cars. I didn't want to go, but I didn't know how to say no. While we walked, he got a very serious tone and said "Keri, I want to show you something that is very special to me - probably the most important thing in my life." Several things went through my head of what this was going to be - something perverted, his muscles, a picture of his mom. But his temple recommend had never crossed my mind. His little plastic sleeve with his temple recommend and he held it out proudly for what felt like several minutes. I mean I love the temple and all but COME ON! So ridiculously cheesy!

Before this night, I hadn't gotten the hint that he was interested in me, but by now I had figured it out. And well let's just say, I wasn't impressed. Laura DIED when I told her. And things just got more and more strange with this guy. I ended up saying something that offended him later so he turned his attentions to Laura but after finding her too outspoken, he accused us of being gay. He requested a private lunch with Laura and during lunch he said, "I know Laura. I know about you and Keri. I don't know any girls like the two of you. You do everything together. You sleep in the same bed. You guys are not living the right way and you need to repent."

Again Laura and I could not stop laughing - and still can't to this day. Apparently if we weren't interested in him, we must have been gay! To make it worse, he got up in church the next Sunday during fast and testimony meeting and said "there are some people in this room who are not living right and need to repent..." 

We had told a couple other people about what had been going on, and one of the guys nudged us while trying to stifle laughter, saying "he's talking about you two!" We had already figured that out and were already trying to contain our laughter.

We cut all ties from there and moved on to getting to know other people. I ended up entering a karaoke competition at a dive bar called "Spankys" to try to earn some money for us. Unfortunately the power went out during the competition so they closed down the bar and postponed the competition another week. So back to PBJs we went for another week. The next week, I ended up getting third in the competition and got $25, but a friend of ours, from BYU whom we had invited, took second because he was smart enough to know his crowd and sing songs that weren't from Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston like me. He won $50 and took us out to eat with his winnings so we were happy.

We both took a telemarketing job temporarily while still interviewing at the hotels, but it was a horrible job. Laura didn't go back after the first day. I only lasted two days because you had to work two days to get paid for the first. The product we were supposed to be selling was a scam,and our boss was a little person who kept hitting on us. During our first day, Laura whispered to me "if he hits on me or tries to touch me one more time, I'm going to pick him up and throw him."

A month later, we both jobs working as front desk agents - me at the Venetian, Laura at the Bellagio. And we made more money than we had ever done before which is what makes all of this more funny. But I wouldn't trade that time for anything because I learned a lot about myself and what it feels to have almost nothing, even if it was temporary. 

I also felt like the friendships we made were kind of strengthened pretty quickly by our humility in admitting that we had nothing. And I had so much fun learning with Laura to think creatively for solutions because in life, there are always "buttermints dawg." 

Dreamlover or Dreamcrusher?!

Dreamlover come rescue me
Take me up take me down
Take me anywhere you want to baby now
I need you so desperately
Won't you please come around
'Cause I wanna share forever with you baby

In seventh grade, I got to join my fellow classmates to a week-long science camp. I was sadly split up from my friends since I did not raise my money to go fast enough and I ended up in a cabin with girls that were a bit more popular than myself. I spent months selling candy bars so that I could go kiss banana slugs and discover elephant seals. At first, they were a bit intimidating but as the days went on I got to know them a little more and I even opened up to the girls that I had a crush on a boy named Trevor. Trevor and I had several classes together, including band where he played the saxophone and I played the flute. I guess you could call him a friend of mine but as soon as I decided I liked him, I of course clammed up around him and stopped my normal interactions.


I had such an immature tendency to decide liking a boy and then just obsessing about it with my girlfriends and myself. For example, "Dreamlover" by Mariah Carey was one of my favorite songs as was any song that she released. But this one I particularly liked because I could sing "Dream Trevor" instead and imagine him taking my away.  Letting the boys know was DEFINITELY out of the question. And I had no confidence being normal around boys - so I worried about what I said, how I looked,what if I embarrassed myself, what if I say something stupid, what if I annoy him, what if he knew I liked him, and on and on. Instead I'd rather talk for HOURS with my friends about everything that he said to me, how we looked and what I saw him do at school that day. 


It's embarrassing really as I sit and write this out now. So backwards...so ridiculous... I think if I have a daughter like myself, I'm going to find out who her crushes are and force her to interact with him just so she doesn't act so retarded...you know arrange play dates (as if that's something you do for seventh graders), invite his family over for dinner, send my husband over to bond with his dad. Okay, now this is sounding more weird.


The last night of our science camp, we had a big "barn dance" which was a HUGE deal to all of us. Any opportunity to dance and cause crucial social opportunities was naturally a big deal.   We were taught how to square dance and got to even hold hands with the boys as they made the rounds in the inner circle. A good thing...and a very bad thing depending on who you were forced to touch. I was walking on clouds as I walked back to my cabin afterwards because I got to dance with - and yes - hold Trevor's hands not once...but eeeh! twice! That was like more progress than I had made in the last couple of weeks and I felt like a superstar. I had even managed to have a few normal conversations and I was just so proud of myself.    


That is until one of the girls in my cabin rocked my world just as I am laying down to have the most wonderful dreams. She had decided to take it upon herself to play matchmaker - or just ruin my life (or so I thought at the moment). During her turn of dancing with my Trevor, she had asked him if he liked me to which he replied "Who's Keri?"  WHO'S KERI?! WHO'S FREAKING KERI?! Okay this is where the melodrama continues. I was hurt...I was devastated...my hopes of dating him were crushed...but mostly, I was embarrassed! Now I looked like THAT GIRL - you know the girl who reveals her crush - only to find out that he didn't even know who she was.


Did I think that Trevor didn't know me? No, I have no idea what happened. Maybe he knew more than one Keri (although since I never knew another Keri until I went away to college, I found this unlikely).  Maybe he was embarrassed about being asked out loud...Maybe he was just immature and playing that whole "I'm a dumb teenage boy and need to look cool" act. All I knew was that I was ruined! I don't remember crying that night or anything that profound...but I do remember laying in my little stiff, wooden bunk while the other girls were falling asleep and looking at the dirty, cold, walls feeling so stupid. One of the other girls whispered "I'm sorry" as I was lying there - you know in that way that only girls who knew how horrible they would feel if something so atrocious happened to them. 


The next day I kind of moped around as we prepared to leave - not even feeling better when I ran into my Trevor that morning on the way back from breakfast and exchanging a few random words. I told my close girlfriends first thing and one of our guy friends, Sean (who was in my eyes, just another nerd like me with his glasses, skinny body and parted blond, hair). 


I got on the bus to go home and spent a good half hour replaying last night's dance in my mind. I was sitting with my friend, Beth, who was chattering to me about some random musician she was obsessed with at the time. But I couldn't listen - I had to figure out what went wrong. Halfway through the drive home, Sean asked Beth to switch places with him and he came and sat with me. 


He joked about me still being upset over the Trevor thing, which made me laugh. And then he offered a few surprisingly nice things about me and how I should just get forget about him. The next hour was filled with comfortable banter and chatter between the two of us...And by the time we were home, I was happy again. just like in the beginning of Romeo & Juliet, I instantly became Romeo who was tragically fallen over Rosaline and then instantly falls obsessively for Juliet. 


A week or so later after many other interactions and whispering hints from my girlfriend, Sean asked me to be his girlfriend. I was on top of the world again! Being Sean's girlfriend really consisted of talking on the phone occasionally, holding hands around school and exchanging fuzzy teddy bears for Valentine's Day. I think we "dated" for a total of maybe 3 weeks and then another brief stint later after he had made his rounds to my two best friends.

Sean was the first boy I kissed - no earth-shattering experience for either of us I'm sure - as we fish-lipped each other outside my science class after school due to taunting from my best friend Beth. Sean was the first boy to tell me that he loved me - just as awkward and wrong as it sounds coming from two pre-teens who really knew nothing about each other and spent a total of probably twenty hours together in the last two weeks. I used to have a classic picture of the two of us that my friend, Beth, had taken of us during lunch. We were holding hands and standing in front of a set of bleachers we used to hang out on. Both of us in our little nerdy glasses. Sean with his cute, little perfect parted hair and me in my hooded Tweety Bird shirt rocking the pony on top of head and crazy hair sprayed bangs. 

Ahh the innocent days